Saturday, July 15, 2006

Are You From New England?

I usually find things like this funny, but often not even close to the truth. This one on the other hand kind of startled me as to how close to the truth many of them were. So here it is, 16 Way To Tell If You Live In New England.

1) If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in New England.
2) If someone in a Home Depot offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England.
3) If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England. (This is really where things start to hit home to me.)
4) If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in New England.
5) If "vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.
6) If you measuer distance in hours, you live in New England. (To be honest, I thought everyone did that until I moved away. It's really the only sense of distance I have.)
7) If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England. (Can I just add, "and have shot it on the spot to put it out of it's misery." Yeah.)
8) If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" and back again in the same day, you live in New England.
9) If you drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.
10) If you install security lights on your house and garage but don't lock either, you live in New England. (Yeah, my grandparents did that. I never thought it was weird until I read this and I was like, ya know, that doesn't make too much sense.)
11) If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England.
12) If the speed limit on the highway is 55, you're going 80, and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
13) If driving is better in the winter 'cause the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England.
14) If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in New England.
15) If you have more miles on your snowblower than your car, you live in New England.
16) If you find 10 degrees a "little chilly", you live in New England.

Just to set the record straight, the ones about the terrible/terrifying driving (except for the deer) is alluding mostly to Massachusetts and Connecticut.

Sent to me by my cousin, Jeremy. The modifications are by myself.


ML said...

"If you hear of your kid driving 75 in two feet of snow in a raging blizzard and give her a dope slap, you're from New England."

Anonymous said...

If you know what a dope slap is, and practice it well, you're from New England.

Just so you know, I've never driven in snow, and never that fast. I've never been on an interstate.

AVE said...

If a cop pulls you over for going 75, and knows your dad so he lets you live in New England. That has happend to me, I think I was going more like 65 in s 45.