The True Story of How I Met Diah

Theah is a man I used to know
who kept his house behind my own;
a simple shack and nuthin' moah,
with a chimney stack 'n' wooden doah.
He wahs rahly seen by any eye
but my friends all said he wahs a scaary guy.

I'll tell ya o' the only chance
I met him - wahs by happenstance:
I's walkin' through the woods alone
'n' singin' in a gahlish tone,
when of a sudden I turned a bend
'n' theah he wahs on the othah end!
Well I jus' stood and staa'ed wide-eyed;
but he jus' smiled 'n' then replii'ed,
"Well, hello theah, deah. How you doo'in'?"
I mumbled somethin' 'bout needin' t' be goin'.

I booked it home like the woods was on fiah.
That's the fahst 'n' last I sahw o' Diah.

This poem was written as a creative piece for Bro. Babcock's British Literature class on March 29, 2008. It demonstrates the Romantic era characteristic of local color.

Confessions of a Maine Girl

Okay, I admit it - I'm addicted to Fluff.  Quite frankly, I don't really see that as being a problem, besides the slight chance I come down with a nasty case of diabetes.  (Okay, treating it with such lightness probably isn't as okay as I would like it to be, but I still think the sarcasm is funny.)  

So I brought some back from Maine with me.  (I make it a point to get some Fluff and maple syrup every time I'm back there.  Believe it or not, I'm pretty sure pure syrup is cheaper in Maine than it is in Idaho.)  I make Fluffanutters for my roommates sometimes, especially when I have a big container.  I just got a small one, so I keep it mostly as a hot chocolate topping.  It wasn't too difficult to convert Mike over to the fact that this is possibly the best way to enjoy both hot chocolate and Fluff anyway.  Except maybe...

Okay, this is where my addiction really makes itself clear.  I love to eat Fluff straight out of the jar.  It's just like eating marshmallows - which is a common ocurrance when living with one MariLou Conner - but it's smoother and creamier.  It's like the inside of a toasted marshmallow after you take the golden skin off - all gooey and tasty.  I used to sneak into the kitchen, quietly snap the lid off and grab a spoon.  (Let's make that clear, a spoon.  Not a shallow, pathetic little knife, a deep, wide spoon.)  I'd take a great big scoop, snap the lid back on, and slip the container back into position.  Then I'd sit back and enjoy the treat.  

I'm sure most people have done this, but have we ever thought about the complete untraceableness of it all?  I never would have open a container of peanut butter and do this. (a) I never understood why people were so addicted to eating it out of the jar anyway, and (b) It's always obvious that it's been eaten out of.  Fluff on the other hand, not being a true liquid, solid, or gas, is completely untraceable.  It just expands until it's once again smooth and perfect on top.  

There you have it everyone.  My confession of the perfect crime.

Tuck's Pups?

Since I've lived with Melissa L. back in Maine in '05, I've wanted to own my own dog. Even if it was just a little one like hers. Unfortunately you can't own one in any BYU-I approved housing.

Today I was heading towards the mailboxes when I noticed this little guy walking around near the back building. At first I thouhgt it was a cat, which I wouldn't have been so worried about. (I like cats and all, but they seem more able to live on their own as strays that pups are, so I worry about them less. Besides, they almost seem to like it.) When I got closer I realized it was a puppy. Not just any puppy though, it was a black lab/hound mix. Labs have a special place in my heart. First of all, they're the cutest. Don't try to argue, lovers of other breeds. There's not chance you'll change my mind. But also, the first dog my family ever owned (that I can remember) was Tucker, a little black lab mutt, whose pure-bred mum got out and so the pups were too tarnished to sell for a high price. Tuck was the sweetest dog you'd have ever met!

I called to the pup, and he toddled on up to me, all friendly. Then Kim came out and ran after another that was headed into the parking lot.

"Are these yours?" I asked.

"No, they're my friend's." Out came another girl and explained that she volunteered at the shelter, and took the triplets out for the morning to play around. She said there was a little girl over by Kim's front door. I had to get some pictures! The boys had marking just like Tuck's, especially Bo.

Top: That's Bo, just hanging out. He was the calmest, but they were all sweet.

Right: I know it looks like I'm modeling, but really I'm just trying to focus on holding Bo right so that you can see his white.

Left: I've got JoLee, that's the girl, Kim's got Rascal, and Bo's just getting up. You can really see the hound in their ears, but they've got big, but the lab comes through in their eyes and their big webbed paws and smooth coats. JoLee had kind of coarse fur, but the boys had beautiful coats.

You're a 90's kid if:

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"
You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"
You remember when it was actually worth getting up earlyon a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
"Goosebumps" were the books to be reading.
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"
You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls; Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)
You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. 'Nough said.
You remember when super nintendo's became popular - and you can beat every level on every game.
You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
"I've fallen and I can't get up"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
Two words... Trapper Keeper.
You never got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down
You wore leggings with the strap that went under your foot.
"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere
You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKSY
Ikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. (pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)
You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.
You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.
You remember a time before the WB.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand"
You thought Brain woud finally take over the world
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.
You remember when razor scooters were cool.

When we were younger:
Before the MySpace.com frenzy...
Before the Internet & text messaging...
Before Sidekicks & iPods...
Before MIKE JONES...
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX......
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.
When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.
When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Way back.
Tag.
Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.
Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.
Red Light, Green Light.
Heads Up 7 Up.
Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.
Hopskotch.
Slip-n-Slides.
Tree Houses.
Hula Hoops.
HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!
"POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION. ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS.
The annoying Giga Pets & Furbies.
Running through the sprinklers.
The "Little Mermaid"
Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.
Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.
Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car.
Drinking Sqeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"
CAPRI SUN
Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, or Fairy Princess comforter.
The original Power Rangers

Or what about:
Hey Arnold.
Rugrats.
Ren & Stimpy.
Rocco's Modern Life.
AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.
Wild & Crazy Kids.
Clarissa Explains it All.
CAMP NOWHERE - Salute Your Shorts (CAMP ANAWANA)
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
The original cast members of All That.
Kenan & Kel.
"CITY GUYS"...ROLLW/ THE CITY GUYS
Doug.
Magic School Bus.
Flash Forward.
Hey Dude.
Dinosaurs.
Alladin.
Mummies Alive!
Pinky and the Brain.
Gargoyles.
Sailor Moon.
Blossom.
Hangin with Mr. Cooper.
Beavis & ButtHead
Wishbone.
Bill Nye the Science Guy
MR RODGERS!!!!

Who could forget:
Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life, I Love Lucy, TGIF, and Happy Days. (Sunday, Monday, Happy Days!)
Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.
Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.
Kids under 16 were too busy climbing trees to have cell phones.
When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.
When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.
When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

Go back to the time when:
Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!
''Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly.'
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.
Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.
When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.
Another Baby Sitter Club and Little Sister (Karen) book came out and you put your name on hold for it at the library.
When Aladdin was new, before the trilogy was complete.
Sockem Boppers
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

From the group "You grew up in the 90's if you remember this" on Facebook.com.

Roxaboxen Was Alexa's Game

Many people may not realize this, but it was Alexa who was the imaginative one as a child. I mean, yes, Sam and Jacob and I still get lost in our little reveries, but it was Alexa who would get an idea in her head and then actually carry it out. It was Alexa who could spend a good part of the day just sitting up in her room reading; it was Alexa who would write-out, direct, and of course act, in all the plays we have ever put on; it was Alexa who had the flow of thought that always kept us outside and busy in the summers - and winters for that matter.

It was Alexa who initiated one of our longest running childhood games - Roxaboxen.

One of the greatest things about coming from a big family is that you always have someone to play with. I remember when Scoobie found out about our little backyard game he wanted to join, and he did a little bit, but he was not what made it. Not even my friend Colleen got in on that. It was really a family thing.

We would go out behind our house, past the big birch in-between the garden and the old, ugly trailer that took up most of the yard; we would go down the little path and into the woods. Not very far in the trees started to thin some and we had our little set up. Alexa had a general store near the brook, in a little grove of trees. Sam had his blacksmith shop by the stump of a tree. I was the jailer. It was in a small clearing right in the middle of a bunch of pines. Jacob, if I remember right, started out as my deputy. (Kaitlyn joined us later, and eventually Ezra. Eden never got in on the game until a new "chapter" of Roxaboxen started out in Saipan.

In the summer we would go back there in the woods a little ways, and play. We had our houses, shops, and such. We had our village disputes, but eventually, things always worked out. Sometimes we would go farther into the woods and sneak past the hermit's shack. Yeah, really, a hermit's shack. It was old, tumbling, and gross. Sometimes we would look in the windows, but usually we just walked on by into the little meadow that was beyond it. The man, Dier, was usually never there, or at least not that we could tell, but we thought it was kind of brave all the same.

In the meadow we would play games like hunting. The grass was really tall, and some of us would hide, while others looked for us. It was fun hunting, but it was more fun being hunted. That way, you could find a real good vantage point and watch the hunters try to be clever.

In the winter, the village was moved a little closer to home - right in our back yard. We would pack the snow up to build houses, line streets, and build stables. In the stables we would keep our sleds. We had a tobbogan that some of us would sit on while another pulled. It was always Lexi or I was did the pulling. If we were lucky, Levi would come out and pull us girls around. He was strong enough to run with us, so that was always fun.

In winter, the village disputes turned into village battles. Girls against boys. We would raise our walls up higher, and make little pockets in the snow to keep our snowballs cold. (Everyone knows you need a pocket in the snow to keep your snowballs cold.) We would chuck the snowballs at each other from our respective forts. You could almost guarantee that, if he was home, Levi would be in on this part of the game as well. I didn't mind getting hit by a snowball or two, but Levi was a pitcher, and he threw hard. Not to mention his aim was good - he hit me right in the eye once, and pleaded with me not to tell. I didn't cry (I remember 'cause I was really proud about it) but I was soooo mad. Needless to say, there wasn't any point in trying to keep it from Mum and Dad 'cause I was yelling so loudly at Levi they could hear it through the windows.

You could always guarantee on a game of Roxaboxen to keep us kids busy, any time of year. But then something changed... something really changed. Alexa started growing up. She wasn't a child anymore, and didn't have time for childish games. She and I started public school, and weren't at home as much, especially during the winter. We met new friends, outside our family, and started hanging out with them more. Sure, the boys and I played the game a few more times, but it wasn't the same. Alexa had moved on. Her little shop by the brook was taken over by Jacob, but it seemed empty.

Eventually the brook in that part of the woods became polluted and we were forced to move Roxaboxen downstream. (Don't ask me about the logic there, it was just cleaner.) Everything had changed. After one last summer of Roxaboxen - entirely Lexiless - we had all come to realize that the glory of the game, it's charm, it's fun, had died.

It sounds sad, I know; any time you spend reminiscing, it usually leaves you in a slightly saddened state. But really it's not. It's just different. It was fun being a kid, but I'm grown now, and I actually don't mind it so much. Yeah, I play different games, with different people, and in a very different way, but I still have fun. Imagination - a tool important in everyday living. I was taught to use mine by the very best.